Rude? Yeah, I can be rude. Oh, it rarely shows itself because that would be, well . . . rude! But, if I keep it secretly nestled in my heart no one ever sees it. Well, no one but God, but let’s not go there yet.
Funny thing about that ugly word . . . people wouldn’t believe I struggle with it. That’s because it lurks in the dark places in my heart. Maybe you can relate.
A few months ago I passed within a foot of a woman near escalator in a department store. Her clothing indicated she had roots in a culture different than my American heritage. As the air lightly swirled between us as our paths crossed I wondered why she was in our country when so many of her people don’t like Americans. It was a rude thought, but if she had dropped something, bumped into me, or flashed me a smile, I would have easily extended a cordial hand or smile in return. Why? Because, I’m not an externally rude person despite the fact I can be very rude and unkind in my heart from time to time.
Let’s talk about that: being NICE on the outside while something ugly brews inside. Hypocrite? Yeah, it could be that. Deceitful? It could be that, too. Obedience? Huh, it could be that. All those words (and more) can be nicely packaged on the outside, tied with a bow, and no one would ever see what we keep hidden inside. Except for God. He recognizes hypocrites. He knows when we deceive others, and He knows when we act out of obedience to Him.
I know, for sure, that my heart was rude that day. However, I’m not sure why I wouldn’t let it show. It could be because I was raised with manners. Perhaps I wanted to hide that hideous side of my heart from the watchful eyes of others. Maybe I was acting in obedience to God? (I like that option best.) God knows me better than I know myself (and the same goes for you), and I may never know why I act as I do. But, this is certain . . . I don’t want to do the RIGHT things for the sake of right (even thought that isn’t a bad thing). I want to do right because it dwells in my heart.
The Old Testament is full of outward sacrifices and offerings for God’s people to atone for rotten behavior. In Hebrews 10:8 is it said of God: “‘Sacrifices and offerings, burnt offerings and sin offering you did not desire, nor were you pleased with them’ –though they were offered in accordance with the law.” (NIV) So much of what the people were required to do before the new covenant (Jesus) was external in nature, and that had it’s place. However, it was always God’s desire that His ways be written on people’s hearts.
Hebrews goes on to say, “This is the covenant I will make with them after that time, says the Lord. I will put my laws in their hearts, and I will write them on their minds,” (10:16). Jesus made it possible for an outward regard for God, displayed in the OT, to morph into an internal motivation for people to show God’s love to others not because it is the RIGHT thing to do, but because it lives in people’s hearts. (NOTE: sometimes it is external obedience that leads new believers to the place where God’s love CAN be written in their hearts and minds, so obedience is never a bad thing . . . but maybe an “incomplete” thing.)
After my mental encounter with the woman by the escalator, I pondered the ugly that oozed from my heart that day. God eventually caught up with me and the encounter became a spiritual heart to heart. What a revelation! That woman by the escalator, that beautiful woman, became a catalyst to soften my rude heart. While studying the Bible, God opened my eyes to His love for a fleeing Hagar when she faced death, and He lead her to water (Genesis 21:8-20). She wasn’t one of His, yet he was driven by love. Naaman, a military commander from Syria (Israel’s enemy), was a valiant soldier and leper. God allowed healing of this man because of love (2 Kings 5).
Sufficiently chastened in the ways of love, this became my new mantra: I don’t want to do what is right for the sake of right, I want to do right because love is IN MY HEART.
Obedience is good, but having God’s love written in our heart is best! Only then are our motives as pure as Jesus. I know, I know . . . being Jesus is a tall order, but it is certainly something to strive for. While reaching for that brass ring of true Christian love, I draw inspiration from 1 Corinthians 13:4-7: “Love is patient; love is kind; love is not envious or boastful or arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its won way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice in wrongdoing, but rejoices in the truth. It bears all things, believer all things, hopes all things, endures all things,” (NRSV).
©2013 Shona Neff
