I don’t have the perfect life. Do you?
Well, I have something even better . . . a joyful life. Joy often eludes people. This happens for two reasons.
Joy vs Happy
Many people equate joy with happiness, but they are two different states of being. There is overlap with these two since both have to do with positive emotional feelings, but they aren’t not synonymous. Joy has a spiritual element that happy lacks. Think of it this way . . . “joy” is spiritual while “happy” has roots in the world.
The thing that amazes me most when I ponder these two emotional states is that joy CAN abound when happy is in short supply. I know this to be true because the Bible tells me so:
- “In the midst of a very severe trial, their overflowing joy and their extreme poverty welled up in rich generosity,” (2 Corinthians 8:2 NIV). This verse says nothing about being happy, but does show us that joy CAN overflow when things are less than perfect. Who would think that generosity would be a well spring of joy? It’s supernatural and doesn’t have roots in happy. Earthly circumstances may affect happiness, but our spiritual existence keeps us in a constant state of joy despite our circumstances.
- “You became imitators of us and of the Lord, for you welcomed the message in the midst of severe suffering with the joy given by the Holy Spirit,” (1 Thessalonians 1:6). Suffering people are not usually happy people, but for those with a strong Christian foundation true joy can shine through. Ever heard of a woman named Corrie ten Boom? Despite deplorable conditions in a Nazi concentration camp she lived a stalwart faith that spilled joy out onto those suffering with her. There was nothing in that awful camp to be happy about, but due to her faith in Jesus she found reasons to rejoice. Praise and rejoicing are natural paths to joy.
Joy is a Choice
Did you know joy is a choice? I didn’t always understand that, but as time passes I’ve learned that I can choose to be joyful even when perfection is missing and I’m not happy.
I have a good marriage, but it isn’t perfect. I am blessed with great kids, but they are not perfect. I’m a pretty descent person, but I’m not perfect. Life isn’t always fun and games or giggles and laughs. I used to get mad at my hubby when he didn’t dote romantic attention on me like the movie husbands and boyfriends lavished on their “best girls.” When my sons didn’t accomplish feats similar to my friends’ children in academics, sports, or life in general, it felt like I was missing out (or even worse, that I wasn’t an adequate parent).
Then there’s me: I don’t take lavish vacations every other week. I’m not the super-social butterfly who gets the red carpet rolled out when I go to the grocery store. I don’t get the invitation for the party of year in my community. When I look at life from that perspective, I could easily feel like a loser. So, what’s my secret for remaining joyful?
Much like Corrie ten Boom, I focus on what IS good . . . and I am blessed with a lot. I know my husband loves me and would give his life for me. He has always provided well for our family for over 25 years. My sons are awesome and on their ways to becoming productive grown ups! My oldest is a great example of a real man . . . the world needs more men. My youngest is bright and is already thinking ahead when it comes to supporting a future family. They don’t cause trouble and are maturing nicely. Many parents are not able to say that about their kids.
As for me, when I see all the adventures of my traveling friends and social acquaintances, I’m thankful that I understand myself and rejoice that I don’t have to do those things to be happy. When we look to others as a measure of what should make US happy, it steals OUR joy. I’m joyful because it’s OK to enjoy the simple things of life I’m drawn to.
I like to play golf. I love dogs and have a house full of the furry critters! I’m very content puttering around my house with my variety of interests. Instead of looking to the world to find out what makes me happy, I reach into my heart to experience joy. We must avoid that trap of looking at others and wishing we were like them. Instead, we need to choose joy.
Joy comes from our ability to find blessings NO MATTER our circumstances. Corrie ten Boon was an expert at finding the positive. She once rejoiced in a fleas infestation because it kept the Nazi guards out of their area. Blessing others also ushers in joy. When life gets you down there is always someone who is worse off or needs encouragement.
Even when things are less than perfect it is possible to keep that joy, joy, joy, joy down in your heart IF you choose.
©2013 Shona Neff