This post is by Vincy Willamowski who is a very popular personality on WFRN Christian music Radio in South Bend/Elkhart, Indiana. She is such a strong women of God, one of the most popular voices ever on WFRN, because of her continued testimony of the greatness of God. This is such a strong post by a strong women:
I don’t get on my soapbox often, but it’s about to happen, so if you’re easily offended…I wouldn’t keep reading
To those of you that take care of an ill parent, or a parent that cannot fend for themselves….I want to applaud you, I want to hug you, I want to CELEBRATE you! YOU are doing what few will, and honestly what few can. You have taken a stand, whether it’s bc they can’t pay for care…or simply bc you care THAT much….you are fighting for their happiness.
It’s tiring…isn’t it? It’s impossible to count the appointments, meals, the utter crazy amount of time that you spend fending off the sickness, hopelessness, the years as they creep closer to taking that parent away.
The role reversal is so hard. You are negotiating waters where that parent has become more like a child. Coming to you for advice, for help, for simple life skills that used to come so easy.
So you do what you have to do. You scrub the sheets, you pick them up off the floor when they fall out of bed…you wipe their tears when they’re hitting a wall of feeling so dependent. You do it. You don’t do it for a reward. No one except God sees the extent of the sacrifice…but you do it anyway.
And when they apologize…you smile and you tell them it’s okay. Because it IS. This…what you are doing, what I am doing…is DAILY unconditional love. It is giving up our time, and so much of who we are…to someone that can no longer give to us.
I do it imperfectly. I wish that I was more patient with my mom, more loving, more sacrificial…but I am HERE. I have made the choice that SHE is more important than “easy”. She is more important than just allowing myself to be her daughter, I get the PRIVILEGE to be so much more.
If you know someone that is fighting this fight….tell them good job. Even if you don’t know them well. Encourage them. Pray for them. HELP them. Whether they ask or not. HELP them, bc they are walking a rugged road. I’ve been on this road for 10 years, with 6 kids, and those that have come along side me…are priceless. Many are NOT family, and yet they have chosen to BLESS my family with their offering. You know who you are, and I am forever in your debt. You gave your love and time, you stood in the gap for me.
And if you are in a family that has a failing parent….stand up and do something. Stop saying trite things and expressing gratitude…but doing absolutely nothing. This might step on toes, and I’m fine with that…DO something. Stop hiding behind your own schedule. Quit being more of a burden, come help them out and EASE their burden. Justification is only to rid yourself of guilt. What is an hour when the caretaker has them ALL the time? It doesn’t take much…it just takes something.
Loving this way, has challenged me to the end of myself. It has broken much of who I thought I needed to be, and is helping me be more of who I hoped I could become. Although difficult, it has been one of the greatest treasures in my life. One day, when this season is over, I will look back and thank GOD that I did this. I will look back and KNOW that I gave it all that I had…as imperfect as that is. One day, I will WISH that I could hold my mom one more time, make her one more meal, kiss her forehead when she’s sad, clean her sheets when she’s been sick. One day I will LONG for this gift. And until then I will fight for her happiness…and the whole time I’m sacrificing for her….she is helping me know pure joy…..
