“Well, I guess we should have kids,” I remember myself saying to my husband 15 years ago. We had been having a conversation about jobs, my dissatisfaction in where I was working, and the general feeling of discontentment. Surely, those feelings were all a sign that I was meant for something different–something grander, right? I figured motherhood was the ultimate gig, so why not jump on in?
Nine months later, my first daughter was born. One week after that came the terror attacks of September 11, 2001. My world was changed. Everything was hard and the unhappiness didn’t lift. Assuming it was just difficult in the beginning, I pressed on. My second daughter was born just 18 months after the first. I loved these little babies with all I had, yet I began to slowly drown.
I had never heard of postpartum depression. It wouldn’t be until years later that I recognized the symptoms. By then, I had fought my way through 5 years of being a stay at home mom. I gave my best to my girls and continually wondered why this wasn’t the happiest time of my life.
My parents finally intervened and offered to pay for preschool so that I could get a part time job and get out of the house. While there was relief in having that structure and adult interaction, I knew I could do more than built and maintain clothing displays at Kohls.
I had gone to school to be a journalist, and walked out of UNM with a degree that said as much. That framed piece of paper was dated 1999 and now it was 2006. Could I still become a professional?
Through the grace of God, I was given an opportunity to host a morning radio program at an AM talk station. I loved it. Finding subjects, lining up interviews, questioning people–it was right up my alley. It was something I was good at. This was part of the puzzle of what I was made to do.
Looking back at the journey that brought me to where I am now, I recognize the purpose in the struggles. I see the clues that were being left all around me that pointed to a greater destiny. In the thick of it all, I hadn’t been able to see beyond my situation. I wouldn’t discover my callings until much later.
I share this story because I know there are many women who can relate. Your story has different components, but the feelings of frustration, loneliness and confusion are the same. You know there is something more. You try to be “happy” with where you are, but something gnaws at your spirit. It’s time to Discover what that something more is.
I’m honored to be part of the leadership team for Discover, a women’s event designed to help ladies find their calling. We will gather monthly to inspire and encourage one another to reach our God-given destiny, calling and purpose through a variety of inspirational speakers and teachers. Mark your calendars for August 4th from 6:30-8pm at the UNM Continuing Education Auditorium. To learn more, visit www.womendiscover.com. This event is for women of all ages and positions in life. We pray that you will join us, and invite someone to come with you.
While I wish something like this had been available to me 15 years ago, I see God’s purpose in allowing me to experience difficulty in order to minister to other women now. Come join us, and let’s together, see the amazing things that God wants to do in and through us!
To see more from Birga, visit: www.hungrytolearn.com
