This Sunday is Mother’s Day. A beautiful day to honor our mothers and for those who are mothers to be honored.
Becoming a mother was the greatest joy of my life. Regardless of the difficult days I’ve encountered, I have no regrets.
The Lord used my children to draw me closer to Him and for that, I am eternally grateful.
However, each year when Mother’s Day comes around, it may be painful reminders for many women—including the pain for mothers of the incarcerated.
The pain comes because not all women experience the idyllic family pictured on cards, magazines, and Facebook. Some women struggled with infertility and not able to become a mother. Other women struggle with the grief due to the loss of child, their own mother, or both.
Other women may not be happy about the day because they are a single mother of young children. Nothing is different for them on Mother’s Day.
Some moms may have a prodigal child, one who has gone astray and is caught up in a lifestyle of addictions. Not knowing where the adult child is causes inner turmoil.
Some women are happy being single and without children, and on days like Mother’s Day they may be questioned as to why they don’t want to be a married and be a mom.
Well the list can go on. But the point is, Mother’s Day is not something everyone looks forward to. Any holiday can cause pain for families who have incarcerated loved ones.
This is my sixth Mother’s Day with my oldest son behind bars. But because I have experienced pain of being separated from a child due to incarceration, I can relate to other mothers on this day.
However, I have found that as I press into Christ and get to know HIM better, He desires for me to have joy and peace. Here is how I learned to relinquish the pain of Mother’s Day and experience HIS joy.
Count My Blessings
I began to list the things I’m thankful for in my life. I intentionally focus on what I do have and not on what I don’t have.
The Apostle Paul wrote in Philippians 4:8, “And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise.”
Let’s focus on the good things God has given to us.
I have my mother and am grateful to have her in my life and we gather together every Sunday for a family dinner.
I have two wonderful sons. My youngest who is 19 years old still lives at home while attending college. I’m thankful for the close mother/son relationship we have.
Though my oldest is incarcerated, I am grateful for the times he calls for I know he is safe. I’m grateful when I receive his handcrafted cards, and how we share with each other about our love for Christ.
For those things listed above, I count as blessings and give thanks to God.
“In everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you” (1 Thessalonians 5:18 NKJV).
Yes, life is different now our loved one is in prison. But let’s focus on what the Lord has blessed us with by giving thanks to Him. Do you remember the hymn “Count Your Blessings”? Here are the words to the first stanza and chorus.
When upon life’s billows you are tempest-tossed,
When you are discouraged, thinking all is lost,
Count your many blessings, name them one by one,
And it will surprise you what the Lord has done.
Refrain:
Count your blessings, name them one by one,
Count your blessings, see what God has done!
Count your blessings, name them one by one,
*Count your many blessings, see what God has done.
[*And it will surprise you what the Lord has done.]
(WORDS: Johnson Oatman, Jr., pub.1897. MUSIC: “Blessings”; Edwin O. Excell, 1897. Public Domain.)
As I focus on the blessings in my life, the pain of Mother’s Day is relinquished. Peace and joy fill that space.
Your turn, what blessings can you list?
Blessings in Christ,
Shonda Savage
