Why Do I Feel Guilty About My Divorce?

Q: I’m so confused. My marriage ended over a year ago because of my husband’s repeated unfaithfulness, and yet I’ve almost been overwhelmed with feelings of guilt ever since. I don’t understand myself. Why do I feel this way? — N.McF.

A: Several years ago someone told me about an article they’d read, claiming that divorce was a painless solution to most marriage difficulties. But it simply isn’t true — as you’ve discovered.

Even when divorce seems like the best solution, it almost always brings with it an unexpected harvest of anger, loneliness, financial burdens, depression, or even guilt. I don’t know if your marriage could have been saved, but perhaps your letter will cause someone who may be thinking of divorce to rethink their plans, and seek instead — with God’s help — to keep their marriage together. Jesus said concerning marriage, “Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate” (Mark 10:9).

Why do you feel guilty? Only you can answer this, of course — but perhaps you wonder if you could have done more to keep your marriage together. In any marriage, the husband and wife need to work together to make their home a place of peace and happiness. This, however, doesn’t excuse your husband for what he did, which was very wrong. Don’t blame yourself for his sins.

Learn from the past — but don’t be a prisoner to it. Instead, seek God’s forgiveness for ways you might have failed, and put your life and your future into Christ’s hands. God loves you, and your life will never be the same once you realize this great truth. Then learn to walk with Him and be guided by Him every day. The Bible says, “Blessed are those… who walk in the light of your presence, Lord” (Psalm 89:15).

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(This column is based on the words and writings of the late Rev. Billy Graham.)

(c)2018 BILLY GRAHAM DISTRIBUTED BY TRIBUNE MEDIA SERVICES, INC