Am I Wrong to Keep Missing My Husband?

Q: I thought I was prepared for my husband’s death last year, since he’d been battling cancer a long time. But I was wrong, and it’s been the most painful experience I’ve ever had. He had a strong faith and I know he’s in Heaven, but what’s wrong with me? — Mrs. D.H.

A: Nothing is wrong with you; God gave you to each other, and your grief is a sign of the love you shared over the years. Perhaps (as the Bible says) we don’t “grieve like the rest of mankind, who have no hope” (1 Thessalonians 4:13) — but we still grieve.

When a loved one dies, it’s comforting to know that they are no longer suffering, and now they are safely in Heaven with Christ. But this doesn’t take away our sadness or our loneliness, and a Christian will grieve a loved one’s death just like anyone else. In fact, we may grieve even more, since we know God brought us together and we enjoyed a deep spiritual relationship.

I’ve often said that the loss of a loved one is like major surgery (especially since my beloved wife’s death). The parallel isn’t exact, of course — but just as it can take months or even years to recover from surgery, so it can take months or even years to recover from the loss of someone we loved.

Take time every day to thank God for the years you had together, and for the hope you have of Heaven because of Christ’s death and resurrection for us. Then ask Him to help you, little by little, to resume your contacts with others — especially in your church. You may be surprised to find others are going through hard times also. You need their friendship and encouragement — and they need yours.

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(This column is based on the words and writings of the late Rev. Billy Graham.)

(c)2018 BILLY GRAHAM DISTRIBUTED BY TRIBUNE MEDIA SERVICES, INC.