I have wrestled with the subject of this post for a while for it is not one easily writen about or discussed for any of us personally affected by it. Suicide: the act of taking one’s own life. The first question always asked is, why?…why would anyone want to stop living and take matters into their own hands? The answers are as many and as varied as the people who have done it….and in many cases answers are never found.
My first experience with suicide was on December 31, 1971. I was 22 at the time. A thirty-two year old actor by the name of Pete Duel shot himself in the head while his girlfriend slept in the next room. I was a huge fan of Pete Duel, first when he played the brother-in-law of Gidget then later starred in his own show with Judy Carne called Love on A Rooftop. At the time of his death he was starring in the TV western, Alias Smith and Jones. I watched the show just to see Pete Duel.
Only days later, as I was trying to process what had happened and feeling so bad for this young actor who seemingly had all one could ask for, another tragedy took place….A young man who had, some years earlier, lived next door to us, went into a closet at his home and shot himself. I was shocked, but mostly my first reaction was anger. Why, because Pete Duel did it? Was suicide going to be the answer now for many others? This young man’s name was Darrell and he was only a year or so older than me. He had gotten married only two weeks ago….Why? What happened? Was the whole world going crazy??
As with Pete Duel, Darrell’s death left so many unanswered questions. There were theories of course. Pete had disliked his job on Smith and Jones but could not get out of his contract and the show had just been renewed for 1972. Darrell had been suffering from major headaches possibly caused by an accident suffered years earlier. But these things, to me, were not reasons enough to kill yourself! Didn’t any one see this coming?….could someone have stopped it?
The next case of suicide was even more close to home….my own brother, the same way….Why? It happened in 1989 and to this day we all still ask that question. His name was Donnie, he was 48, married, good job, two kids, grand kids….what had caused him so much pain he just could not go on? Why didn’t we know he was hurting so? What if? If only….these thoughts fill the minds of all who have lost loved ones in this way….but answers seldom come.
They say suicide runs in families like many other things do and ours was no different. Several years after my brother’s death a nephew became a victim. Randy was 35 years old, divorced with one daughter. When he was born one foot was twisted and bent which meant many surgeries and a brace when he was small, but it never slowed him down. His one dream was to be a cowboy….but how can you be a cowboy if you can’t wear boots? Finally, after the final surgery, the doctor gave him the good news. Special shoes were no longer needed and he could wear his cowboy boots!
Why such a tragic end to such a sweet life? Who or what had caused them to give up hope? What was missing in all these lives that might could have saved them? I don’t know about Pete Duel or Darrell, but I know Donnie and Randy had accepted Christ and both were baptized. This has been the case for many other victims as well and only proves that knowing God and being baptized isn’t all it takes to get some of us through life. Only a close, personal relationship with Jesus will sustain us through certain areas and circumstances.
There are a few incidents in the Bible that tell of people taking their own life. The one that comes to mind first is Judas who betrayed Jesus and led His enemies to Him. As soon as he saw Jesus had been condemned to death, Judas was sorry for his actions and returned the money he had accepted, saying, ” I have sinned in that I have betrayed the innocent blood.”
Matthew 27: 5 And he cast down the pieces of silver in the temple, and departed and went and hanged himself.
I think we all can understand Judas’ feeling of hopelessness knowing whom He had betrayed, so to question why was not necessary.
Another case is found in the last chapter of 1 Samuel 31: 3-6 . Saul had been injured and knew the enemy army would find him soon. To avoid being tortured, he asked his armorbearer to use his sword and kill him, but the young man refused. So Saul took a sword and fell on it, killing himself. Seeing what Saul had done, the armorbearer fell likewise on his own sword and died with him.
So what becomes of those who choose to take the life God gave them? Are they destined for Hell as some think, or is it possible for them to enter heaven? I believe the only One who knows the answer to this and many other questions is God. He will judge each one fairly and His decision will be final. The one thing we can do is continue to share the good news of Jesus and remember: Being saved is wonderful, and for eternity, but we must encourage those who find Him to walk with Him daily and get to know Him as their best friend who is always available no matter what happens.
Too many are hurting and contemplating suicide today. Let us be more aware and much in prayer for our loved ones and others whom we know are overloaded with stress and cares….but also pray for those who seem to be fine. What we see is not always a true picture. Every one of us need prayer in order to meet the challenges life offers every day. Most of us when asked how we are will simply answer. “Fine.” That is often not the case and a word of prayer to the One who knows along with words of encouragement will often be all that is needed to change a mind or gloomy outlook. Let’s take time to care. Proverbs 25: 11 A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in pictures of silver.
Remember our hope is in the Lord and in Him we find our strength. Let us spread sunshine to our gloomy world not just by talking a good talk but by reaching out to those in crisis. A life interrupted by suicide is a life that could be saved. The old hymn, Rescue the Perishing comes to mind: Rescue the perishing, care for the dying, snatch them in pity from sin and the grave. Weep o’er the erring one, lift up the fallen. Tell them of Jesus the mighty to save!
