What Can I Do to Overcome the Depth of Emptiness?

Q: My husband recently passed away after 65 wonderful years together. Now that he is gone my grief is overwhelming. My friends tell me that I should be thanking the Lord that he no longer has to suffer. Now I am feeling guilty. What can I do to overcome the depth of emptiness? — G.W.

A: First, don’t be surprised by grief. Do not deny it or feel guilty over it. Even when the death of someone we love is expected, we will still grieve our loss. Grieving is a process, and it doesn’t go away overnight, even when we know our loved one’s suffering has ended and is safely in Heaven. Often people who have never experienced grief cannot understand another’s sorrow, but that should not cause us to feel abnormal, nor should we deny our feelings and pretend everything is fine.

Second, ask the Lord to help turn your mind to the future. When someone close to us dies, we naturally focus on what that person meant to us in the past, and we sense the crushing finality of death. We realize that the past is gone forever and it will never be repeated. This is perfectly natural. But as time passes we also need to turn our thoughts to the future. Life goes on and there are others who love and need us. Most of all, God is not finished with us. The Bible says, “(Reach) forward to those things which are ahead” (Philippians 3:13).

Use your life now, by God’s strength, to show compassion for others who are hurting. Grief turns us inward, but compassion turns us outward, and that’s what we need when grief threatens to crush us.

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(This column is based on the words and writings of the late Rev. Billy Graham.)

(c)2018 BILLY GRAHAM DISTRIBUTED BY TRIBUNE MEDIA SERVICES, INC.