On Mother’s Day, where ever mom’s go they are certain to be greeted with “Happy Mother’s Day.”
I get it—some of us moms may not feel happy and may not think we can ever be happy again as long as we have a child locked away in prison.
I bought into that lie from the evil one and lived in depression for about four years after my son’s arrest for his involvement in a very tragic situation.
You see, I wrestled with the fact that another mother grieved the tragic loss of her son and I grieved over the loss of the life I imagined I would have with my son. How could I be happy?
My self-rejection of having any type of happiness in my life shackled my emotions to despair. I took on the blame, guilt, and shame as a form of penitence for my son’s wrong choices because I must have failed as a parent.
All the could haves and should haves reared up in my thoughts. Any penitence I offered only tightened the shackles of hopelessness of ever experiencing joy.
Jesus came to set the captives free and He unlocked the shackles of despair off of my life. Jesus paid the price for each person’s sins on the cross and no amount of penance on my part will suffice. I had to surrender all of it to Jesus.
After laying down the blame, guilt, and shame at the foot of the cross, Jesus began the process of healing my broken heart.
Jesus said, “The Spirit of the Lord is upon Me, Because He has anointed Me To preach the gospel to the poor; He has sent Me to heal the brokenhearted, To proclaim liberty to the captives And recovery of sight to the blind, To set at liberty those who are oppressed” (Luke 4:18 NKJV).
The brokenhearted are lacking joy. Depression oppresses a person. According to the passage above, Jesus came to “heal the brokenhearted,” or give us joy. He came “to set at liberty those who are oppressed,” or remove the shackles of depression.
Jesus came so we can have joy!
Christian author and speaker, Carol Kent, whose only son is serving life without parole in a Florida prison wrote a chapter called “Redefining Joy” in her book, Waiting Together: Hope and Healing for Families of Prisoners.
“All of us remember times, before incarceration touch our family, when we experienced these feelings of success and good fortune. We recall birthdays, graduations, weddings, awards, promotions, spiritual milestones, and family reunions with great joy. But after a family member is arrested, we often doubt if we will ever experience joy again. Joy only seems illusive—it has disappeared completely!
“You and I can rediscover joy by pursuing it in a new way; by inviting God into the mess of our lives. Well-known pastor and author Rick Warren says, ‘Joy is the settled assurance that God is in control of all the details of my life, the quiet confidence that ultimately everything is going to be alright, and the determined choice to praise God in every situation.’”
Then Carol listed practical ideas to help us “rediscover and cultivate” joy. Here’s my summary of Carol’s list:
1. Read Psalm 103. Write down reasons you find to trust God.
2. Make a list of things that bring you joy—unexpected kindness from a friend, a good cup of coffee, a funny movie, etc.
3. Get around joyful people for joy is contagious.
4. Listen to uplifting praise and worship music.
5. Meditate on Scripture about the true source of joy. (Psalm 16:11)
6. Believe God has a better future for you. (Psalm 30:5; Psalm 27:13)
Can we be happy and have joy again? Absolutely!
Carol explained it this way: “…it will be a different kind of joy, one that isn’t based on the things and events of our lives, but that points us deeper into the experience of God’s love throughout our messy journey.”
My life as a mother is different than I imagined it would be. After letting go of my preconceived ideas about what life should have looked like and accepted my life with my incarcerated son for what it is, I began to experience the joy of the Lord by applying the practical steps listed above.
Because of Jesus, we—the mothers of incarcerated children—can be happy on Mother’s Day!
My prayer for you…
Lord, I pray that You restore the joy of Your faith into each mom reading this email. I pray that You, God the source of hope, fill them with hope for each day. I pray that each mother reading this will believe that they will see Your goodness in the land of the living. Lord, You are faithful to finish what You start and You have started a good work in each mother and incarcerated child and we know You will bring it completion. Lord, Your joy is our strength for each day. I ask You to bless each mother reading these words with Your joy today. In Jesus name, Amen.