I love these Scripture so much! They explain something wonderful that happened in my heart recently that I didn’t know how to put into words.
Through a series of events that I shared in my last three posts, the Lord brought me to a place in His love that I can’t explain except to say it was a supernatural moment, more like a series of moments. All I can say is that my Abba restored my innocence! My heart is so light now!
I don’t remember ever feeling innocent. If you read my posts you’ll remember that I was the boy babysitter’s favorite girl when I was five years old. He taught me that love was shown with your body. The worst part for me in later years, when that bit of darkness surfaced in my memory, was that Mom knew but didn’t do anything. Dad didn’t know. I didn’t remember the sexual abuse until years later, after I had met Yeshua and asked him why I made such bad decisions. The Spirit used to lead me to Psalm 129:1-4 often.
From my earliest youth my enemies have persecuted me–let Israel now say–from my earliest youth my enemies have persecuted me, but they have never been able to finish me off. My back is covered with cuts, as if a farmer had plowed long furrows. But the LORD is good; he has cut the cords used by the ungodly to bind me.
The cords that bind can be memories after the fact, and sometimes, the enemy persecuting me was me. I would beat myself up for dumb mistakes I had made and I was afraid to trust my Abba. The series of events brought to the forefront these questions: Did I trust my husband? Did I trust my brothers and sisters in Christ to not cast stones? Did I trust Him?
He promised to give back our health and heal our wounds. He created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we could do the good things he planned for us long ago. You see, the plan doesn’t change. We do. We either choose to agree with him or not. We can face the darkness and cut the cords that bind us, with him, or we can stuff the yucky stuff. But I’m here to tell you that if you stuff, you’ll never be truly free.
I love these truths from “Across All Worlds; Jesus Inside Our Darkness” by C. Baxter Kruger:
‘The old self, the self in bondage, must be undone. We must face our darkness and step through its fear into the new world of Jesus Christ.’
Jesus walks with us through these dark places and shares Abba’s love with us. We never have to do this alone! He says to us to arise and receive His love and live, truly live, free and unencumbered.
‘Do you want life? Are you prepared to see your darkness? I will share the truth with you, but you must stand and walk with me. I will show you how to undo your darkness, but you must face it. I bring my Father’s healing love to wash the feet of your wounds, but you must let me.’ C. Baxter Kruger
For me there was only one response: Bring it, Lord. Let’s do this for you are great and perform great miracles. Teach me your ways so I can live according to your truth. Grant me purity of heart so I may honor you. Your love for me is great my Abba, and you have rescued me from the depths of darkness! You’re my refuge and my strength, always ready to help me! Show me, Yeshua! Lead me into Abba’s love. Totally and completely.
The LORD will not reject his people; he will not abandon his own special possession. Unless the LORD had helped me, I would soon have died. I cried out, “I’m slipping!” and your unfailing love, O LORD, supported me. When doubts filled my mind, your comfort gave me renewed hope and cheer. Psalm 94:14,17-19
Jesus says, “I love you. We’ve got this! I’ll help you.” He cleanses our hearts by faith. That word ‘cleanse’ is to restore, purify, make innocent. Draw close and let Him help you get free from all that encumbers you. He’ll never let you down guys. Ever.
Sprinkle me with hyssop and I am pure; wash me in it and I shall be whiter than snow. Satisfy me in your sweetness and your joy and my humble bones will rejoice. Create in me a pure heart, oh God, and renew your right Spirit within me. But return your sweetness to me and your salvation and your glorious Spirit will hold me. Psalm 51:7,8,10,12
So now, as in Psalm 131, I can say, “Yes, like a small child is my soul within me.”
Jesus, you are enough and You are always the Answer. Lead us into Abba’s love, totally and completely. Draw us close and give us Your eyes to see, ears to hear Your precious voice, courage to walk into and face any dark places You show us, Spirit, and help us to cut any cords that bind us, keeping us from total freedom in You. Yeshua, help us to step into Abba’s heart, the fullness of Love. Forever we praise You and honor You. Thank You for all You are and all You do. Amen and so be it.