Although I had never tasted it, I knew I would hate the carrot cake my cousin was baking. Determination and stubbornness gripped me, and I decided I would not taste it, no matter what. But my daddy, well, he was that parent who insisted one bite would not hurt you. So, I sneaked off to the back house to find the best hiding place. I saw the old hand-made wooden clothes hamper with a hinged top crawl in and shut the door. I just knew no one would find me there, or at least I had hoped no one would see me or come looking for me, especially my daddy. I waited there, fearing being found and forced to eat that carrot cake I was dead set on not putting in my mouth.
I’m guilty, guilty, guilty. I am guilty of detouring from God’s path for my life. Guilty of thinking my way was better somehow than His. I am guilty of doubting God’s goodness and ability to deliver me out of my sin.
But if we freely admit our sins when his lot uncovers them, he will be faithful to forgive us every time. God is just to forgive us our sins because of Christ and will continue to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.
1 John 1:9-10
At twelve years old, I asked Jesus into my heart. I disobeyed my parents by lying, being unkind, and not obeying them. One little sin piling onto another only to become a familiar tune and a pattern I followed for a while. However, as time passed, my wrongdoings and bad choices took on a more profound implication, accompanied by a growing fear and guilt. Only to be driven deeper into my soul. I did not understand at that time I would need Him every day of my life, and my relationship with Him was more than a one-time event.
I cannot recall if my daddy found my whereabouts that day; it’s possible he did not even come looking for me. However, it was different with Adam – God strolled into Eden, making escaping unsuccessful. God’s presence and power were undeniable; he knew the sound of God’s footsteps and the wind of His presence.
When God spoke to Adam, it was as if His voice was coming from all directions. This garden was where they had walked and talked every day. But Adam was nowhere to be found, so God called out to him. Adam knew he could not hide from God, His creator; he knew God knew everything, so what would be the use of attempting to hide from Him? So, Adam answered God with fear and trembling.
God questioning Adam’s whereabouts only confirmed God’s divine authority and Adam’s inescapability. God knew! This interaction of God’s presence illustrates his grace and mercy even in the face of guilt. God asks Adam, Who told you you were naked? Adam could not ignore God when he was confronted.
Remaining in darkness only deepens our guilt and fear. Repeated wrongdoings only lead us into familiar darkness, taking our peace and unsettling our hearts. This darkness only feeds the lies that we began to believe. Then, one day, God enters the garden of our lives and intervenes in our troubles only to bring them to the light of His truth.
Truth walked in that garden the day God confronted Adam. He beckoned him into the light to prove his faithfulness. To show us that we can break free from the darkness if only we answer him when he calls us into his glorious light, exposing the lie to the light and replacing it with the truth.
After hiding in that dirty clothes hamper, I continued my rebellion and disobedience to God’s Word. I knew God and believed Jesus died on the cross for my sins, but I did not properly understand him. I saw him as a deity who would only punish me for my mistakes rather than a compassionate God of love who readily forgives sin.
Adam was guilty that day in the garden; I was guilty the day I hid from my dad in the hamper. Guilty of disobedience to my daddy. My daddy was right; trying the carrot cake that day would not have hurt me. We were both afraid of being open and honest about our whereabouts. All God wanted was direct communication with Adam. God is a loving father and wants a relationship with us so much more than to condemn us. He yearns to be with us; He desires us to know his absolute love and grace.
When we walk in His presence, we walk in the light of His truth, which snuffs out the darkness. When we confess our rebellion and wrongdoings, He robes us with His righteousness, cleansing us from our unrighteousness.
Had I known God as a good Father, a loving Father, if I had known him intimately, it’s possible I would not have continued down the path of rebellion. Perhaps I would have avoided the choices that plunged me deeper into guilt. When I think about it now, I AM IN AWE of how incredible it is to imagine the unconditional love that God, the creator of life, longs to have with me.
God knew Adams’s name and your name, too; He has claimed you for His own. It is unbelievable that the God of the universe knows our names, story, heritage, beginning, and end. Just like Adam, He finds us, calls us by name, and desires to walk and talk with us in the garden of our lives.
Romans 2:4 Hebrews 4:5 Ezekiel 18:32
