As we turned the calendar to the new year, I asked the Lord for a download for moving forward in my business. That download came through my business coach who saw potential in me that I didn’t see.
Through that, I realized that I wasn’t showing up as my authentic self but tried to wear shoes that don’t fit. No wonder my steps have been wonky.
From self-reflection with God, I realized that as a creative I’ve not always fit into societal norms. And from childhood to adulthood, I’d received criticism and judgment from those in authority. As a result, I’ve not freely expressed myself.
I realized I’d lived under intimidation. No one is intimidating me now, but because of past experiences with people in authority over me, the patterns led me to live in confusion, inferiority, inadequacy, insecurity, nervousness, and cowering back so that I’m not showing up in ways that are authentically me and operating in the authority Jesus gave me.
I went through a series of prayers of repentances, forgiveness, and declarations to receive deliverance from the fears that shackled me.
I’m reminded of King David when he brought the Ark of the Lord back to Jerusalem. He danced before the Lord with all his might. His wife Michal was disgusted with his behavior and said, “How distinguished the king of Israel looked today, shamelessly exposing himself to the servant girls like any vulgar person might do!” (2 Samuel 6:20 NLT)
David’s response to this criticism is encouraging for creatives like you and me who’ve been shut down. David prioritized his authentic express of faith and joy over the opinions of others.
So today I boldly declare the start of the authentic me. Today is day one of my authentic self. Whether it’s the first or one of many, each marks a stride towards embracing my true self that God created me to be.
My immediate actions steps to start walking in my own shoes that fit and to freely express myself, I wrote in my journal sideways across the lines instead of on the lines. I’m wearing different colored socks so when I look at my feet, I’ll remember to embrace my authentic self with my imperfections.
Just be who you are!
Blessings from the authentic me,
Shonda
