A few nights ago, I couldn’t stop crying, and the following morning was no better. I read some words about being a failure as a mother that hit me hard. Even though I know Satan is a liar, I found myself repeating, “God, I’m sorry. I failed as a mother and as a wife, and I failed so many times as a follower of Christ.” I was having a real crying jag, repeating it again and again, and I continued with the pity party until I couldn’t cry anymore.
Still feeling sad, I had a grooming appointment for my dog Sally, so I put her in the car and off we went. Automatically, I turned on the radio and scanned through stations, tuning to a Christian radio station where I heard “Your struggle is with Satan. When you listen to him you feel like a failure. But who does God say you are? Does God call you a failure? No, He doesn’t. God says you are fearfully and wonderfully made. He loves you.”
I need these reminders daily, especially as I deal with the recent loss of my son. Even though I think I’m doing well, I never know when Satan will hit me with his lies again. I need to be on guard and ask myself where is this thought coming from, God or Satan? God is not an accuser. Satan is an expert at pushing the right buttons, and thoughts of guilt, fear and shame appear. When they do, I just want to lay down and give up. But if I stop and ask myself where this thought is coming from, I am stronger and I am reminding myself that Jesus has forgiven me and He is enough. It’s then when I know that my grief will be turned to joy, and I can find the energy to move forward and even laugh again. I guess this is part of the grief process—having these setbacks.
The world is upside down, everything seems crazy, and my emotions are raw. Then our gracious God opens my eyes to see a beautiful sunset, a rabbit grazing in the grass, a baby bird, or other wonders of his creation. God provides a “God Wink” at just the right moment to let me know He sees me and reminds me He is still in control, and He has not forsaken me.
And on this day, immediately following this epiphany, a song came on the radio, and its message rang true. The song, “Honestly I Think We Just Need Jesus” by Terrian, said it all. I felt God’s presence with me and found joy and peace not only to get me through another day, but to make me smile and sing as my dog and I rode down the road together.
After the song ended, I couldn’t help but chuckle a little at the simplicity of it all. We complicate things, trying to shoulder burdens that were never ours to bear. Life feels like an endless rodeo sometimes, and I’m just trying to hang on to the bull of everyday troubles. But then there’s Jesus, standing in the arena, offering a hand and a word of comfort.
As I pulled into the parking lot of the groomers, I glanced at my dog, who was now happily drooling on the passenger seat. Her carefree demeanor was a stark contrast to the chaos I had been harboring within. Animals have a way of grounding you, don’t they? They don’t worry about tomorrow or dwell on past mistakes; they live in the moment, finding joy in the simple things—a lesson I’m trying to learn.
Inside, the groomer greeted us with a smile, and I handed over my furry friend. I noticed a sign on the wall that said, “Life is better with a dog.” It was a small reminder of the simple truths that we often overlook. Life isn’t about being perfect; it’s about finding happiness in the imperfections and trusting that God’s got our backs, even when we feel like we’re falling apart.
Driving back home, I started thinking about the times when I felt closest to God. It wasn’t during the easy moments when everything was smooth sailing. No, it was during the storms, when I felt like I was sinking and had no strength left to keep paddling. It’s in those moments that I felt His presence the strongest, lifting me up, giving me the courage to face another day.
I recalled a passage from the Bible that had a new meaning for me now:
“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” (Psalm 34:18)
Isn’t it comforting to know that we don’t have to face life’s trials alone? That even in the midst of our darkest hours, God is there, guiding us, protecting us, and reminding us of His love.
By the time I pulled into my driveway, I felt a renewed sense of hope. Sure, life was still messy, and I still have my moments of doubt, fear, or grief, but I know with Jesus by my side, I can face whatever comes my way.
So, to anyone out there feeling like a failure, struggling to keep their head above water, or just plain worn out by the trials of life—take a deep breath and remember, you are not alone. Lean into God’s love, listen for His voice, and let Him guide you through the storms. Because honestly, I think we just need Jesus.
Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got a cup of coffee calling my name and a Bible that needs some serious highlighting. And maybe, just maybe, a few more tears to shed—but that’s okay. Because with each tear, I’m reminded of God’s grace, and that’s more than enough for me.
