I have so many question as I sit struggling at 2 a.m. to figure out what is “acceptable” behavior as a child of God in these political times. There are lines in the sand I have always tried never to cross. I don’t bring politics inside the church. Period. The church is a place that I go to worship God and learn His word with likeminded believers. The past few years have not been easy, but by comparison to my friend Peter Mwangani in Kenya, I have no right to say that I have a hard life. Nobody has stoned me. Yet. They did Peter.
I’ve been Publisher of the Ridgeview News for three very short, wonderful years. I have struggled to find my place, and then in the midst of that my world got turned upside down in a few different ways. The last few months have been difficult. I need to readjust my life to fit all the things in and in their proper perspective. I feel called to the roll of Ridgeview News, but I was certainly not uncalled from the roll of The Jesus Chick. And then there is the roll as Wife, Mother, daughter and friend. All of which I know I have failed miserably at because I’m such a chaotic personality. Throw into that mix a very passionate, sometimes flippant attitude, God and I have woodshed moments followed by discussions about allowing myself grace to be human.
I have throughout my life used sarcasm and wit to deal with hard truths. My own truth and that of other people. I read a writer recently that zinged me a little when she said that being being snarky is “nothing but fancy-schmancy passive-aggressiveness, that leads to bitterness, anger, and unresolved conflict.” I can’t disagree.
But what if I mean it? Did Jesus never get frustrated with people? I have a hard time understanding how to put the pettiness of life’s problems into the perspective of the cross. I feel that I should rise above it, move on, and focus on leading lost souls to Christ. That is why Christ died that gruesome, horrible death. And then I think about how God put us in this world to live. Not to sit idly by as “Sister Susie being Saintly in the Sanctuary.” But to live in a community and take care of it. And it is there that cause the tears to flow, my heart to ache, and the feelings of failure to come.
Love is Kind. Sometimes I am Not.
1 Corinthians 13:4-8
4 Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up, 5 Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil; 6 Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth; 7 Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things. 8 Charity never faileth: but whether there be prophecies, they shall fail; whether there be tongues, they shall cease; whether there be knowledge, it shall vanish away.
Love is patient and kind. In some cases, love may require me to flee the temptation to be sarcastic and snarky:
1 Timothy 6:11-12 KJV
But thou, O man of God, flee these things; and follow after righteousness, godliness, faith, love, patience, meekness. [12] Fight the good fight of faith, lay hold on eternal life, whereunto thou art also called, and hast professed a good profession before many witnesses.
That’s the problem for me. In this social society, there are countless witnesses to our behaviors through social media. Some would say that Christians should have no part in it. I get that theory, except that it leaves the whole thing wide open for the Devil’s playground. I occasionally get in a big way of talking and forget that when I shoot an arrow, the target is a person. I guess there is a feeling of justification in the flesh. After all, I am on the side of right. Right? Jesus was always 100% right. I am not. And the thing about an arrow, is once it’s shot. You can’t take it back.
Love Doesn’t Vaunt. I Try Not to.
I knew that when I began the Ridgeview News I would be making myself a target. I was fine with that. Nobody likes to be called out. I sure don’t. It automatically puts me in a position of defense. I understand that when I publish the issues of someone else’s life, especially mistakes that have been made, it’s not going to win me popularity. I could easily justify it by saying that they should have known when they did what they did, or put themselves in a position of power that they would be held accountable for their decisions. So will I when I stand before Almighty God. I know that, and it scares me.
To vaunt is to boast and brag excessively. That is not my style. I detest arrogance. I don’t feel good about calling someone out. Not an enemy and for certain not a friend. I have had to do both.
When you understand that you are a sinner always in need of grace, it’s hard to publish the sins of another without guilt.
Some have said, “Then don’t.” The problem with that is the community needs to be aware of what’s going on around them that effects them. I’m not publishing private sins, I’m publishing public matters that effect other people. When you’re covering the news, it’s often in the heat of the moment. I try my very best to stay impartial. I want only to print the truth and leave my emotions out, I can’t say I’m successful at that. Emotion won’t change the truth, but it sometimes magnifies the negative and may cause people to view me as feeling above the offender. If only they knew the inner turmoil I have with that. Airing dirty laundry isn’t fun. It literally stinks. I’m not writing a gossip column. I’m trying to provide the truth so the citizens of my community can make informed decisions. For too long, and I mean decades, our community has ignored the decision makers and allowed everything to be unchecked. The cost of that has been poverty, feelings of hopelessness, and an inability to stand up for their rights.
Psalm 19:14
Let the words of my mouth, and the meditation of my heart, be acceptable in thy sight, O LORD, my strength, and my redeemer.
Love Doesn’t Misbehave. I Do.
If you haven’t figured it out yet, I’m working my way through my issues. Writing is the only way I seem to accomplish that. It’s a conversation between me and Jesus. It causes me to seek the only solid truth, the Word of God.
Paul told the Corinthians not to behave unseemly. Commentary said this was through using either unbecoming words, or doing indecent actions; for a man unprincipled with this grace will be careful that no filthy and corrupt communication proceed out of his mouth, which may offend pious ears; and that he uses no ridiculous and ludicrous gestures, which may expose himself and grieve the saints;
My greatest fear is offending God. But I know that’s what I’ll do if I “offend the little ones.”
Matthew 18:3-6 KJV
And said, Verily I say unto you, Except ye be converted, and become as little children, ye shall not enter into the kingdom of heaven. [4] Whosoever therefore shall humble himself as this little child, the same is greatest in the kingdom of heaven. [5] And whoso shall receive one such little child in my name receiveth me. [6] But whoso shall offend one of these little ones which believe in me, it were better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and that he were drowned in the depth of the sea.
The little ones doesn’t mean children. But rather speaks of the humility of those who serve God. The last thing I would ever want to do is to hurt a fellow soldier in Christ. My friend D.L. used to say, “Christians are the only army that shoots their own soldiers.” It’s the truth.
My closing questions for myself are this:
- Who are the little children in my story?
- Who’s the victim?
- Would Jesus handle things the way I do?
- How can I do better for the cause of Christ?
There is no sin by any man (or woman) that can be justified. None. Even when you feel you’re in the right. I go back to the comment that zinged me: being snarky is “nothing but fancy-schmancy passive-aggressiveness, that leads to bitterness, anger, and unresolved conflict.”
After yet another “Come to Jesus” moment that I have experienced, I determined this about snarky comments. They’re ungodly and wrong. It’s me in the flesh and I should not be. But it doesn’t change the truth.
