Baptist Press
By Stephen Silver, posted August 1, 2024
EDITOR’S NOTE: Stephen Silver was married for 51 years before his wife Sandy died suddenly and unexpectedly. In the eighteen months that followed, Stephen kept a journal of the practical lessons he learned while going through the grieving process. He captured these hopeful lessons in this short book, Grief Redeemed. This article is an excerpt from the book.
I’ve learned that grief is not my enemy—it is my friend. This insight hasn’t mitigated or softened the pain of my wife Sandy’s absence from me, nor the loneliness and emptiness I experience every day when reflecting on her love, friendship, companionship, support, encouragement, and beautiful smile. However, I’ve discovered that the more visceral these feelings, the greater the opportunity to draw closer to the Lord in the midst of my anguish. I’ve learned that in those moments, He has me exactly where He wants me—pouring out my heart and tears before Him and asking for His help to get me through.
The truth is, I’ve never experienced real suffering before—not on this level. Like everyone, I’ve had normal disappointments, regrets, and life challenges with which I’ve had to cope. But none of those came close to the heartache and pain of the reality of no longer having Sandy by my side or seeing her face again in this life. There’s simply no way to sugarcoat or dodge those realizations and related emotions when they come crashing in.
As with most who’ve experienced heavy grief from loss, these come upon me in the form of giant waves, which capsize and render me momentarily incapacitated. In the first few months after Sandy’s death, these came frequently and without warning. All I could do was hold on until they passed, or sometimes call a close family member or friend to help me get through them. Fortunately, these now come less frequently, are less intense, and don’t last as long—but I know they are coming. More Here
