6 “And so it was, that while they were there, the days were completed for her to be delivered. 7 And she brought forth her firstborn Son, and wrapped Him in swaddling clothes, and laid Him in a manger, because there was no room for them in the inn.” (Luke 2:6-7)
Baby Jesus in the manger. I can’t remember when I first heard about the birth of Jesus; the closest I can get to any sense of timing is this feeling that I have always known Him. I know that I had a life changing experience with God at age 32 but looking back over my life I have this knowing in my heart that He has walked by my side through everything. The thoughts that I share here I have never shared before. I have kept these things very quiet and close to my heart because of possible criticisms.
I was always very quiet, no, silent would better describe my younger years. I rarely spoke to anyone outside my home, even at home I was known to be too shy to talk much. Being a momma’s boy, my place of comfort was sitting at her left side under her arm as she held me close to comfort. Even though I was shy, I felt very secure at home.
I remember being terrified of my coming sixth Birthday. I was aware that when I turned six, I would have to leave home every day and attend school. I even tried to make a deal with my mom to cancel my Birthday that year. It did not work. Off to school I went.
In the little town of Wellsville, Kansas in the very early years of the 1950’s, it was a very safe atmosphere; we never even had locks on our doors. In those days, post-WWII, 90% of crime only existed in the minds of small little boys who lived mostly in their thought lives. Also, the town was so small, most people walked to work and school. I, too, walked to school, way from the security of my mother’s caring arms and words.
Digressing, when I was between 3 to 4 years old, we lived in the country on a small farm. I have this clear memory of one day, sitting in the living room on the floor. My older brother, Larry, and my mom were there with me. As I remember it, I suddenly felt overwhelmed with what now seems to have been a sense of homesickness. Some might say melancholy. Whatever. I began to tear up and began to cry for a moment. I was in a place with family members who loved me, why homesickness? And, then it stopped just as quickly as it had started. Of all the memories of a very young boy, why has this one stood out? I really do not know, but I have some comforting thoughts. As I understand, we are created (born) with an innate longing deep inside to connect to some One Who understands us completely. It’s a longing that began in the Garden of Eden. When that perfect, intimate relationship that Adam and Eve shared with God broke because of sin, that longing began.
13 “Then were there brought unto Him little children, that He should put His hands on them, and pray: and the disciples rebuked them. 14 But Jesus said, ‘Suffer little children, and forbid them not, to come unto Me: for of such is the Kingdom of heaven.’” (Matthew 19:13-14)
As I walked the three or four blocks to school, I found my security in speaking the words, “Please, keep me safe, God” very softly, hoping that only He might hear. Throughout my school years, up until my second year of high school, I spoke to God requesting help or protection as troubling situations.
When we did the Nativity scene in our school Christmas Plays, I was always glad I played a shepherd. I did not have to speak. I just stood and gazed deeply into the image of God laying in a manger. I was always moved by that. My Friend was having a Birthday party, and we celebrated Him.
Something happened in those early to mid-teen years that caused me to drift away from consciously needing God. However, seemingly He remembered my many prayers seeking His help. He helped me to survive my teens, Vietnam years, and early years of marriage, and at age 32, He awoke my longing once again.
And so, my LORD, as I gaze into Your first earthly bed, the manger, I thank You for walking by my side through every part of my life, even those latter years I forgot Who You were to me. I love You. You’re my closest, finest Friend. I could speak to You when I could not speak to anyone else. And when You brought me back to Yourself, You gave me a voice and a purpose. You filled my words with Your thoughts, wisdom, and Your very Word. I am so grateful for all that You are . . . Happy Birthday, my King, Jesus, and Friend.
MERRY CHRISTMAS, everyone!