Every day when her mother dropped her off, it was the same thing . . . fifteen minutes of huge water droplets falling from the big brown eyes of the crying child. Her mother constantly assured me that, when at home, the tot talked of all the fun she had at preschool and how much she loved Miss Shona. Meet Kayla – the sensitive one.
Navigating Preschool
Kayla was one of the most delight children I had the privilege of teaching when I headed up a class of diaper-clad tots. However, it didn’t take long for me to notice that navigating through a day full of energetic peers wasn’t always easy for little Kayla. First, although she loved her time at “school” it was hard for her to see her momma go. Crying was such a ritual when Kayla was dropped off, that we hardly noticed it by the end of the school year. She would cry for 10 to 15 minutes, and then be ready for the day.
Being ready for the day meant Kayla was ready for quiet activities . . . typical for the melancholy preschooler. On the play ground, while the children with the more active and outgoing personalities sought out each other to chase and play with, Kayla enjoyed more solitary endeavors. She enjoyed swinging with her thoughts. It wasn’t unusual for her seek out the quiet comfort of my lap over the raucous play of her classmates. Some parents think something is wrong with their child if he/she doesn’t seek out the company of others, but for a melancholy, it is perfectly normal. They are drained by lots of loud activities and often prefer peace and quiet over rambunctious peers.
A Picture of Perfection
As part of our daily classroom activity we always did a simple craft. Melancholy Kayla always had the best looking project. When working with other tots, you never knew WHERE a glued piece of construction paper was going to end up. I was never surprised to see a horse glued up in a tree or a fish swimming in the blue, blue paper sky. However, Kayla’s projects ALWAYS had the construction paper creations in the right place. She took her time and you could see her mind a turnin’ and a churnin’ as to how the project was suppose to look. She was always the most conscientious artist in my class.
Another area of perfection that this adorable tot excelled was her appearance. She came to school looking as pretty as a picture. That was due, in part, to her mother’s melancholy personality. However, Kayla looked as polished at the end of the day as when her mother dropped her off at the day’s start. Why? She, as a melancholy child, was not a rough player. She was drawn to quiet activities and, as a result, she never sweated, messed up her hair, or dirtied her clothes. Picture perfect.
No Space Invaders, Please
During class time or play ground time, Kayla was content with quiet, solitary play. That is typical of the melancholy preschooler. However, if one of her peers invaded her space and started messing with HER stuff, she would let them have it. Melancholy adults usually do not like it when people invade their space without asking. They also have a difficult time altering their schedule when others suggest spontaneous activities. This personality needs their own space and time to mull over changes to their schedule. Kayla displayed those traits as a preschooler in diapers.
She did not appreciate it her classmates jumping in the middle of her play or projects. She also enjoyed the established routine of our classroom. She struggled when there were variances in those two areas.
Strategies for Melancholy Preschoolers
- Putting a sensitive melancholy in a preschool setting should be given serious consideration. Kayla, despite the “beginning-of-the-day” tears, did fine in my classroom. I was a low-keyed teacher that only had a class with six tots. She was not overwhelmed in my classroom. However, putting a melancholy in a larger class deserves some consideration. What personality is the teacher? What is the daily routine? Keep in mind that a situation with too much stimulation may not be best for your melancholy child.
- Don’t worry if your child does not seek out other children or seem to enjoy activities. Melancholy children are just being who they are when they gravitate toward serene settings or one quiet playmate. Also, because they usually are not as demonstrative as a sanguine child, do not assume they are not enjoying life. As mentioned previously, Kayla constantly told her mother how much she enjoyed my class and loved me.
- Let your melancholy preschooler be who they are, but don’t be afraid to introduce them to new things even if they are less then eager to try something new. Be sensitive to their feelings, but you never know when you are going to introduce them to a life-long love or hobby.
Sensitivity to your little melancholy goes a long way. Encourage them to try new things, within reason, but be watchful that you don’t overwhelm their little systems. Remember that they are drawn to the quieter side of life.
©2012 Shona Neff
originally posted at www.shonaneff.com
