Do you love yourself?
In Matthew 22 we find a conversation Jesus had with a lawyer who attempted to trap Him.
The religious lawyer asked, “Teacher, which is the great commandment in the law?”
Jesus said to him, “‘You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind.’ This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like it: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ On these two commandments hang all the Law and the Prophets.” (Matthew 22:36-40 NKJV)
Most of us realize we are love God first above all else—with all of our heart, soul, and mind.
We understand loving others as we put others (spouses, children, employers) above ourselves.
But was about that last phrase—“as yourself”?
Do you love yourself? To answer that question, listen to how you talk about yourself. There is a balance of loving yourself that is in between the two extremes—hating yourself to being arrogant.
Most of my life I hated myself. My thoughts about myself were critical. My self-evaluations and self-assessments of my choices were belittling. I never measured up to the standards I set for myself.
Because my self-thoughts were demeaning, I spoke negatively about myself. If someone complimented me, I’d counter with my shortcomings.
My chiding thoughts and words about myself eventually turned to self-inflicted (nonlife threatening) wounds. I realized I didn’t like pain, so most of the time I would sleep—regardless of the time of day. I’d make excuses that I didn’t feel well to conceal my depressive state of mind.
My friend, not loving yourself is an epidemic in our society. This world is filled with self-hatred as evidenced by people’s self-destructive behaviors. Suicides are continually on the rise. I read a report today that a YouTube Kids video had inserted a blurb on how to take your own life successfully inside a seemingly safe children’s video. It has been reported and that video has removed from YouTube. But parents be aware!
If you or a loved one has suicidal thoughts, please call for help. The National Suicide Prevention Hotline is available 24 hours everyday. Call 1-800-273-8255.
After years of living a life hating myself, and many of them as a Christian, I have learned the keys to loving myself. These keys are in the Word of God. Many of the Scripture references I was familiar with and I’m sure you are too.
But there is a difference between knowing the Scriptures with head knowledge and receiving the Word of God into the heart. When the Word of God seeps into the heart, that is when we experience regeneration.
“There is therefore now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus, who do not walk according to the flesh, but according to the Spirit” (Romans 8:1 NKJV).
First is to realize that Jesus does not condemn us. We should not condemn ourselves.
Most translations of the English Bible leave out the phrase “who do not walk according to the flesh, but according to the Spirit.” That is the vital part and many of the verses that follow in Romans 8 discuss life in the flesh and life in the Spirit.
Life in the flesh includes the self-condemnation. Learning to live according to the Spirit is liberating and stops self-condemnation.
“If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness” (1 John 1:9 NKJV).
Second, ask God for forgiveness. When we confess our self-condemning thoughts and words to the Lord, He forgives us. Psalm 103:12 tells us, “As far as the east is from the west, So far has He removed our transgressions from us.”
“For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses” (Matthew 6:14-15 NKJV).
Lastly, we are to forgive others who hurt or offend us in order to be forgiven. We need to apply the forgiveness passages to ourselves.
We must forgive our self to stop self-condemnation.
To love our self, we must live according to the Spirit not the flesh, confess our sins and ask God for forgiveness, and forgive our self for past wrongs and the self-condemning thoughts.
Let’s pray:
Lord, I thank You that I can come before You today to receive Your love and forgiveness and to be set free from the bondage of self-condemnation in order to love myself. I confess my self-condemning thoughts, words, and actions to You. I ask for Your forgiveness of my sins. I repent for this ungodly behavior and attitude toward myself. Lord, I also ask for forgiveness for holding unforgiveness against myself. I choose today to forgive myself. I pray that as I forgive myself that Your healing process begin in my heart. I no longer desire to punish myself with anger, hurt, control, and negative attitudes or behaviors. Lord, quicken my spirit by Your Spirit to keep me from condemning myself ever again. Thank You for loving me and for Your grace to be made new in Jesus Christ. In Jesus name, Amen.
