I’m talking about the decision I willfully made.
Over the past two years, two different friends had suggested I have a mole on my left arm checked out. I dismissed their concern.
The first reason I dismissed it is because I’ve had that mole for as long as I can remember. And when I showed it to a GP once, he told me it was nothing to worry about. So I never worried about and that’s how I thought about it.
But then a few months ago, I noticed something really different about it. It had a red bump in the middle. Now began to stir up my concerns, but we had a busy summer scheduled and I did not want t doctor appointments and testing to disrupt any plans we already made.
The after the summer, I wrestled with how do I choose a dermatologist. Beginning last April I took my youngest son to a dermatologist. He was treated for his skin issues and is fine. But then I began to make up all sorts of excuses in my mind why I couldn’t use that dermatologist.
Without any other known options other than throwing darts so to speak at the approved PPO dermatologist list provided by my insurance carrier, I had no idea who to see. Then I remembered, there is another dermatologist that works in the office and I decided I wanted to see a female so I choose her. I later learned they are a father and daughter team.
So I made an appointment to see Dr. Karen last Thursday. As I arrived, another Christian woman I dearly adore was leaving and I felt comfort seeing Dr. Karen as my friend explained she has seen her for years. That helped me.
Dr. Karen looked at the mole on my and said she highly suspects it to be melanoma and it needed to come off the next week. She showed me how the mole fit all the ABCDEs of the visual test for melanoma.
Dr. Karen’s concern and urgency caused fear to jump on me.
“Fear is like a contagious disease–maybe even more so because it only takes a moment, a few words, or a look for it to leap from one person to the next.” ~~from “A Room of My Own” by Ann Tatlock
I knew I couldn’t allow myself to live in fear. Not only that, the waiting…she informed me it would take five weeks for the lab results. In some state of shock, I had no idea what to ask so our appointment ended; I scheduled the next appointment for today, Wednesday, September 24 and the scheduler mentioned that it was the last day because the doctors were not working anymore this week. I thought nothing of it because doctors block off time for personal reasons.
In the meantime, I began to do what most of us Internet people do and that’s google information. Well what I read out there was bleak. It is true, melanoma is the most serious and deadliest form of skin cancer. However, it also depends on what stage it is.
After my appointment, a friend from out-of-town sent me a message she was coming to town for a women’s conference and sent me the info to attend. I took this as a sign that I needed to go, so I made plans to attend this conference held out in the country in a tent.
“Therefore I am now going to allure her; I will lead her into the wilderness and speak tenderly to her. (Hosea 2:14 NIV)
I asked the Lord to meet me there for a supernatural healing and He promised that He would speak tenderly to me from Hosea.
Joining the conference on Saturday morning, I praised the Lord with the praise and worship team. I listened to the anointed delivery of the Word. And prayed as the minister prayed with those in need of prayer. Then my friend called me up to pray over the mole.
As I arrived at the altar, the minister prayed. Then she stopped and told me that the Lord said, “He is with me and has healed me of a great deal. I will be taking the healing message to many. What I must go through will be a process and the reason He led me there was to fill me with joy for the joy is my strength.” At that point I was supernaturally filled with the joy of the Lord.
The joy of the Lord pushed out all worry, doubt, fear, dread of the unknown, because I knew at that moment if the Lord is with me what do I have to fear.
Sunday evening, our new pastors came to join us for dinner in our home. They prayed over us and Alba, who is also a school principal, insisted I say what the Word has to say. She had me say it and repeat it several times in her authoritarian, school principal voice.
“By the stripes of Jesus I am healed!” I firmly stated it three times for her. She then informed me she felt led to tell me that I’m to speak God’s word into my life.
I needed that reminder. Though I share this same message with others, it seems when I’m the one going through, I need to be reminded. I thank God He puts people of faith in our lives to spur us on in our faith.
Well Monday I went back to the Internet. I tell you I learned that source was not building up my faith. We must focus on what builds up our faith. I made the excuse I want to be informed. There is a difference between wanting to be informed and reading too much that causes the fear to jump on us. Fear transfers easily. We must avoid it.
On Tuesday I arranged to meet a friend for lunch. I almost cancelled because I also have been suffering from some gastro issues. But I pressed through anyway. I’m so thankful I did because what she shared was amazing. She shared much, but the main point is that Jesus lives in us. He lives in me. He lives in you.
He goes through what we go through. He is always with us. And because HE resides in us, HE is greater than whatever it is we are dealing with – health, depression, anxiety, fear, etc — are all of the world. Greater is HE than that junk! Amen!
So today I had such peace going to the doctor’s office. My husband, Eldon Whitworth, drove me there. Now remember the enemy comes to steal, kill, and destroy and he knew what could steal my peace. That’s traffic and my husband’s response to traffic. After what appeared to me to be a near collision because of how my husband decided to handle the situation, fear jumped on my and anger toward my husband. I arrived at the clinic distraught and angry with my husband.
After signing in, I immediately hid in the bathroom to pray. After a few minutes of praying, I felt I had to make a choice. Yes it was up to me if I allowed the peace of Christ to come back on me. I had to choose to forgive my husband. So I returned to the waiting room and told him I forgive him. I believe that is imperative to the timing.
This past month of September on the Hebrew calendar was Elul, which is a month set apart for repentance. It is also the last day of the Hebrew civil year. Beginning tonight, is a new year. And the Lord had been taking me through a series of areas in my life where I needed to repent and turn from my sins. Let go of things I had been holding to that He doesn’t want me to have in my life. Surrendering to Him. Today is the last day of that season.
Now it is a New Year. Rosh Hashanah! So the timing of my mole removal was on the last day of the Hebrew year 5774. And at sundown, the new year of 5775 begins.
And you know what was amazing? While at the doctor’s office, the staff was talking about how they were closed tomorrow for the holiday. I asked if they celebrate Rosh Hashanah and they said yes. As I walked out I ran into Dr. Karen and I told her Happy New Year and that I professed at a prayer meeting last night that I believed that the reason this mole removal was scheduled on New Year’s Eve was because it is a new beginning for me in 5775.
This brought Dr. Karen to tears. We hugged in the hallway and blessed God. I don’t know if she is Messianic or not, regardless we worship the same God. I thank God He led me to the doctor He chose for me. The enemy tried to stop me from going there on several occasions.
It’s no coincidence that the Lord has taken me through a holy cleansing over the past month. That lines up with the Scripture I have been led to confess.
Psalm 103:1-5
Bless the Lord, O my soul;
And all that is within me, bless His holy name!
Bless the Lord, O my soul,
And forget not all His benefits:
Who forgives all your iniquities,
Who heals all your diseases,
Who redeems your life from destruction,
Who crowns you with lovingkindness and tender mercies,
Who satisfies your mouth with good things,
So that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s.
It’s important to note, He forgives our iniquities, then heals our diseases. We must repent, letting go of the things that hinder us. Then the healing comes. God has a certain order and timing.
I believe I’m healed. God’s Word promises that. I do not know what the process is, but I know that He is with me. He lives in me. Now I wait for the pathology report, which will take approximately four weeks.
However, while I’m waiting, I will not live in fear, dread, doubt, worry, concern, anxiety not any of that life robbing junk. He has the just the right timing. God’s is good for His word.
So while I’m waiting, I will praise Him. Please join me…
[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3gjXBMC8-oM]God bless you brothers and sisters.
La Shanah Tovah, tikatevu!
May the blowing of the Shofar be a sound that sparks the blessings of this new year!
All my love to you, and may this coming year be prosperous and healthy.
© 2014 Shonda Savage