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I’m Here… yet not

“I’m here.” Those are the words I wrote this morning as I spoke to a friend who’s hit a rough patch in life. As the words settled on the screen, my next thought was. “Where is that? Where is here?” This stupid virus has messed with my ministry work and my head. While I’ve not been “quarantined” as many have, meaning I still work and see people; plus I’ve been in church helping with the live broadcast, but times have drastically changed.  The world as we know it has changed. I’m concerned for my people.

Tomorrow will be our first Sunday with an actual in person service at Victory Baptist Church in Grantsville, West Virginia. I’m so excited. Victory is our happy place. It’s where we come together as friends and family to share in the week and receive strength from that, and most importantly strength from God’s word.  And now it’s been months! How has everyone been? I know how I’ve been, absent from the body. The body of believers, yet still here.

Absent from Touch

I still cannot hug and kiss and shake hands with my people. That makes me sad. Yes, I’m glad to see their face, but I’m a hugger! I love it when I feel someone wrapped in my arms as they let go of the stress of life. To know you’ve been the arms of God is a powerful thing. And this virus has taken that ability away from many. They may not have anyone in their life right now hugging them and making them feel loved. The quarantine has worsened that for many. But for me, it’s made me realize that I need to touch people with my God given abilities of song and the written and spoken word.

Absent from Emotion

I’ve been given the gift of gab and the gift of writing, but even that does not always adequately allow me to describe how I sometimes feel. How do you explain that flutter in your heart, or the joy that causes your mind to reel. How to I feel someone else’s pain that I’m not living with? How do I share in the emotion of someone if I’m not physically with them in their time of need? It’s tough.

It’s always my fear when I’m texting with someone that my emotion won’t come through. They won’t know how much I truly love them and care. The new “care” Facebook emoji makes my heart smile. Because as important as liking and loving someone is, they need to know we genuinely care. The absence of emotion is a struggle for me. I’m a touchy feely person. I love the sparkle in an eye, the gasp of joy and elation. But I also miss the tears and cries of a child of God who needs the presence of a friend.

Absent from God?

Nope. It can’t happen. Although I may be absent fro the touch and emotion of man, I am never absent from God. David wrote in Psalms

Psalm 139:1-14 KJV

[1] O Lord, thou hast searched me, and known me. [2] Thou knowest my downsitting and mine uprising, thou understandest my thought afar off. [3] Thou compassest my path and my lying down, and art acquainted with all my ways. [4] For there is not a word in my tongue, but, lo, O Lord, thou knowest it altogether. [5] Thou hast beset me behind and before, and laid thine hand upon me. [6] Such knowledge is too wonderful for me; it is high, I cannot attain unto it. [7] Whither shall I go from thy spirit? or whither shall I flee from thy presence? [8] If I ascend up into heaven, thou art there: if I make my bed in hell, behold, thou art there. [9] If I take the wings of the morning, and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea; [10] Even there shall thy hand lead me, and thy right hand shall hold me. [11] If I say, Surely the darkness shall cover me; even the night shall be light about me. [12] Yea, the darkness hideth not from thee; but the night shineth as the day: the darkness and the light are both alike to thee. [13] For thou hast possessed my reins: thou hast covered me in my mother’s womb. [14] I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvellous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well.

I needed that word this morning. I needed the reminder that although I cannot physically be there for people often times, our God is there for everyone, all the time, wherever “here” is. Gloorrrrraaaayyyy!

I wrote myself happy again

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