I’m having trouble writing today. I feel so full of worry. Things that are out of my power are still my responsibility. Unless a sack of cash lands in my arms, I don’t know how any of this is going to work. It’s hard not to worry. It’s hard to pick a different viewpoint or perspective here in the throes of it. There’s so much. So much.
That’s the hardest part. I know I need to trust, but I also have to keep going in the meantime. It’s some kind of holy mix and I admit I’m not the best at balancing it. If this were a language I wouldn’t be able to do much more than point and grunt. God’s love feels disguised. Or maybe I am forgotten because, on days like this, it feels like it. Peace feels far from me. This is the point in the message where I’m supposed to flip it around into something pleasant, connected with scripture, and maybe a pithy quote. I’m all out of allegories.
It’s times like these when 1 John challenges me so much. Despite all my feelings somehow his words are still relevant right now. That even deeper down inside I do know what trust is and am in it fully. Like I said, it’s hard for me to wrap my mind around.
1 John 4:18-20:
18 There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love. 19 We love because he first loved us. 20 If anyone says, “I love God,” and hates his brother, he is a liar; for he who does not love his brother whom he has seen cannot love God whom he has not seen.
Quote
I left the quote part blank because right now there is no quote. Just the scripture above. It’s one of those that I could talk about forever which probably says something.
Love is learned through experiencing and imitating it as best as can.
We Love because He first Loved us. And sometimes it’s damned confusing. If I’m honest, most of the time it’s confusing, actually. Love doesn’t work without trust. How could it?